ok wives, as we read and discuss the book 'sheet music', i'm going to try and blog a summary of what we discussed at our get togethers for the gals who miss or for anyone reading 'sheet music'. the summaries may be bullet points. thought out sentences. they may flow well OR not so well. so hang with me. grab the good stuff and 'grace' over the stuff that doesn't make sense. i have a quick secret...i do not like writing. it is not 'my thing'. i do however love teaching and seeing and hearing lives being transformed. so for the sake of the yumminess of all our marriages, i will not put off blogging because i can't formulate everything 'just so'.
soooo...down to business. or shall i say pleasure??? heehee.
this summary will be from a couple weeks ago of our first get together. so i hope my memory (ha!) serves me well or at least my notes will!
*read with your babe...if he wants to. when i started reading 'sheet music', heath said he didn't want to read it with me. so when he was watching tv one time, i sat next to him and when i came across something, i would say 'can i read this to you, it's something you are really good at.' OR 'i'm really good at this'. i now read the book to him. every single part.
*there will be things you will read in this book that maybe you don't agree with OR may make you GASP!! it's ok. you don't have to agree with everything, but for the sake of your best possible marriage, keep reading. there is so much other good stuff in there. we are each unique and different in how we view sex.
*tender. tender is the word that God keeps bringing up with me and this subject. i know this is a tender area for some. i also know when we open things up and communicate. things get healed. and we realize, we are not alone.
i promise this will not be a gigglefest. however, there will be maturity and laughter.
i also don't want this class to take away from the mystery in your bedroom. trust that i am cautious of this.
*i know a lot of wives came to the first get together nervous about what we will talk about. or. what i will make you share. sex is more about relationship than positions. we will be discussing communication. how guys think. how we think. our character. why we do what we do. why our men do what they do. how can we change for the better.
*the hard things were said during this meeting also:
gals, if we don't fill these areas of our men...they will look for it elsewhere. be it guy friends, porn, dirty magazines, other women, hobbies, etc. and when we aren't meeting their needs, they aren't filling ours and we then fill ours with other things: girlfriends, food, shopping, other men, etc. this can be dangerous and hurtful.
*i read to all the gals 'note to reader' in 'sheet music' and i read the back of the book. i also read from jen hatmaker's 'out of the spin cycle' book, bringing sexy back. you can see this book here, www.jenhatmaker.com
*i also read from God's Word. if you don't think God is all about us enjoying sex with our spouse to the fullest, then i suggest you hang out in Song of Songs for awhile. actually it won't take you long to see. 2 scriptures i read were:
song of songs 7:10...i belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. (your babe desires you gals. let him)
song of songs 5:16...this is my lover, this is my friend. (do we treat our men like our friends. if something is wrong, do we complain about it with our girlfriends? or do we talk to our men about it? also the next part of the verse is 'o daughters of jerusalem'. which to me means she was talking POSITIVE and LOVE about her babe to her girlfriends. which leads to a rule in 'sheet music' that i stole from MOPS...'no husband bashing'.)
*one of my favorite quotes i stole from my friend amy, who i'm sure stole it from someone else, is this:
marriage is the practice of becoming passionate friends.
i am a lover of words and each of these words in this quote has so much taste to it! practice. passionate. friends.
i was nervous our first get together because the lie in my head was that i needed to help everyone fix their marriage in one night. one summer. and that simply cannot be done. it's going to take work and effort and sacrifice. and this is the same lie that satan will try to feed you as we work on our marriages together...that nothing is changing so just give up. DON'T LISTEN TO THIS LIE. keep going. keep doing the right things. keep working. keep loving. this is a lifetime journey.
*the homework at our first get together was: read the 1st 3 chapters and our challenge was to 'initiate' sex with your husband.
other blogs on 'sheet music':
http://andreahinton.blogspot.com/2011/05/bringing-sexy-back-this-summer.html
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