enough

i love you.
thats all i know.
thats all that matters.
& thats enough.
its more than enough.

i journaled this awhile back. & here lately ive been holding on to it when i start questioning God with what, when, how...


heard this song this morning. its on repeat today at this here hinton lovenest...

http://youtu.be/54ALmQZ_NiA

beautiful mess

beautiful mess.
chaotic joy.
frazzled delight.
messy thrilling life.

i welcomed it back with open arms this weekend.
the kids were gone last weekend. i missed them (towards the end of their visit, of course) & all their beautiful messes. the house seemed too clean.

my o my, i have come a long way since kids. especially since garrett....heehee *wink*. he has taught me much in all of his two year old destructiveness.

a perfectly kept house can't compare with a home filled with living - mary randolph carter

& our home is FILLED. thankful.

orphan sunday

i realized i had jotted the following down and never posted. maybe waiting for me to rearrange words or whatever. but reading now...one month later...i think it is beautiful in its own random, 'all-over-the-place' thoughts. celebrate....

i read this last week-http://debraparker.blogspot.com/2011/11/orphan-sunday.html

my thought after i read it and watched the video was 'how will we celebrate orphan sunday?'. we are in a season of thanking. and as i am writing my thankfuls, i become overwhelmed with all that i am thankful for and in turn just want to give out of our overflowing cup.

so last night we celebrated. celebrated all we have been given, by giving some away. we sponsored our first compassion child. marilu. sweet marilu. a part of our love story now.

and my kara michelle has been such an inspiration to me in all of this. ever since she saw me watching the video she has wanted to know more about orphan sunday. her heart is global love. i don't want to quench that. i want to grow that. she is passionate about this. maybe more than me. yes. more than me.

i know for sure...she is less scared than me. i read that marilu lived with her grandfather and grandmother...no mommy or daddy. i read marilu's chores included carrying water...how far does she have to walk for that? how clean is it? (kara knows a little about carrying water because we have supported advent conspiracy/living water international for the past few christmases). but my fear, as i hit the 'sponsor now' button was, i want to protect my little girl from seeing poverty. how sad poverty really looks. i. i am scared of seeing poverty. i am scared to see how sad it really is.

kara stood behind me waiting for me to hit the button and add marilu to our love story. without kara with me...im pretty sure i wouldve clicked out of compassions website and said i'll do it later. knowing. really knowing that my fear was keeping me from loving global.

she wants to give her $ to a compassion child. she wanted the girl to be 9 just like her. i wanted a child that has been waiting 6 months or longer. and a child that didn't have a mommy or daddy or both. we found her. kara, im pretty sure loved her in the first second. and has only grown more excited. 'i wonder how excited marilu will be when she finds out we are sponsoring her'. she prayed for marilu at bedtime and dinner again tonite.

one small step in our walk in the way of love.

how will you celebrate?

follow ann's (compassin blogger) ecuador story here:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/category/ecuador/
my favorite quote in this series:

'because of jesus.' translated word for word is...
'gratitude is born in the heart. and it leads you to action.'

sponsor a compassion child here:
http://www.compassion.com/

is your passion more local and hands on?:

big brothers big sisters:
http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.9iILI3NGKhK6F/b.5962335/k.BE16/Home.htm

foster a child:
through your local children's services.

living breathing example of service

do i let my circumstances justify my attitude?

i defend my importance in our hinton 5. i complain. im on edge. im easily angered.

reading this was my 2nd come to jesus meeting.
http://debraparker.blogspot.com/2011/11/ourselves.html

sunday nite, heath brought my 1st jesus' heart meeting. (yes i admit...he was right.)

i will be a living breathing example of service to my hinton 4 and to everyone i meet. i will live out and love others more than myself.

one thousand gifts

i was totally pumped to get this book in the mail this past saturday!

i have been reading ann voskamp's blog ( http://www.aholyexperience.com/ ) regularly for the past few weeks. on mondays, she has a running list of one thousand gifts that never end. things she is thankful for. reading her lists made me want to start my own. so i did.

i started a journal of His gifts that never end. doing this regularly, my eyes are opened, my heart is warm and i can't keep up with the overwhelming amount of things i am thankful for.

the change that it has made in me is refreshing. it was the answer to this tired momma's prayer of 'i want to love being a mommy'. it was the attitude change that i needed in circumstances that were beyond messy.

so im going to end with some yummys from my thankful ongoing list...one thousand gifts that never end...

#1 a sink full of dishes. this means a home full of love and full bellies.

#2 a messy, lived in, beautiful home.

#3 3 boxes of food my neighbor just gave me. overwhelmed. she will be getting scones. god pours it in.

#4 carved pumpkins with flickering candles and happy kiddos beside them

#5 a crackling fire

#6 sound of heaths car coming up the driveway

#7 the words....i am sorry. i love u.

#8 the heart tattoo my babe drew on my hand. he knows me well. i love him over and over.

#9 walking to school

#10 baking in kitchens with friends. so good for our souls.

#11 surprises!

#12 simple thinking. thank you lindsy.

#13 warm sun, rustling leaves, light warm breeze on a fall afternoon.

#14 lunch dates with my 2 year old little man.

#15 kissing warm, sleeping faces to wake them up. yummy.

#16 my kids forgive so freely and easily.

#17 words. life breathing words. real words. challenging words.

#18 pizza & wine with new friends on a football friday nite.

#19 hamburger inn with our hinton 5.

#20 being home. just being home.

#21 heath being thankful. for as long as i can remember, each day his question to our babies is, 'what are you thankful for today?'. he started this trend way before i caught on. he lives a life of gratitude and guides our children in the same.

#22 right now. this moment.

#23 grace that doesn't make sense.

#24 knowing at naptime what we are having for dinner.

#25 having ALL the ingredients already in our cupboards for said dinner.

#26 that we choose what we get to eat for dinner not WHETHER or not we eat dinner.

#27 my heath. my lover. my best friend. my jesus with skin on. he forgives easily. and loves deeply.

#28 second chances. to snuggle and to play with my kiddos when i was "too busy" the first time around.

#29 warm sun that i can feel. really feel. on a chilli fall day.

#30 a crowded counter of 3 little cookie baking helpers.

#31 time to play before school starts. my girls laughing and swinging together. i want to put that moment in my pocket and keep it forever.

#32 aviator sunglasses. yes. momma looks good.

#33 friends to share coffee and desserts with.

#34 storytime at home.

#35 new library books

#36 peace. in chaos and in calm.

happy friday friends!

sleepers

last night at leapin www.leapinoutreach.org, there was a lot of mommas and their babies. i just wanted to love on them. so i started asking... 'what do you gals need? what are you looking for?'. i help in the toddler area. some mommas needed pants for their little ones. but most mommas needed sleepers. warm sleepers. and one momma i will not forget.

'do you have any 3t sleepers for girls?'
'let me check.'
my friend rob checked. i checked. no 3t sleepers for little girls.
i went back to her and said 'no im sorry, we don't have any that size'. then i was on to helping the next momma.
i didn't like not giving her what she needed so i went back over to her and said 'i have a 24 month footless sleeper. do you think that would work?'. she said 'she is pretty little, that might work.' it did. and i went on to helping the next momma.
later on, she came up to me and said 'do you have any 3t sleepers for boys?'. boy! i was excited...i knew i could help her here! there was a lego star wars boys 4t sleeper. i rushed over to the bin and as i was digging, i was telling her 'i thought this would be so cute for my little boy, you're gonna love it!'. i found it. looked up at her and in that moment...

it hit me.
she wanted it for her little girl. and the words she said next i will be forever grateful for...

'i just want her to be warm.'

im crying as i type it. this sweet momma reminded me that the people that need leapin, help and teach me far more than i will ever be able to help them.

today i am thankful for warm pj's for my babies. no matter what they look like.

perspective

what do i do with it? do i let it change me for a moment until the next moment?

last night we loved on others at leapin. ...heart tug...
last night i saw on fb babies from haiti on a homemade ventilator. ...heart tug...
this morning reading forgotten god by francis chan...one 16 year old girls sponsors 14 kids on her own! my kara wants to sponsor one and i haven't done it yet. ... ... (no words for that one...just tears)
on fb again just now and this blog was posted:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/10/what-is-radical-faith-video/

speechless right now.